on saying goodbye to my perfectionism

i imagine what it feels like to live in complete abundance, joy and love all day every day.

free from pain and suffering. free from the chains holding me back. free from the beliefs i have held onto for so many years. 

today, i meditate again - before the sun shines her bright light upon me. 

 the beauty of life inspires me and my paintings reflect this magnificence

the beauty of life inspires me and my paintings reflect this magnificence


thoughts swarm in. coming from all directions. thoughts about work. thoughts about people. thoughts about email. thoughts about stress. 

i become aware of the frustration brewing inside me as these thoughts come and take over my quiet time. but i remember to be easy on myself. i asked for a lesson. i asked for guidance. and my teachers have answered.

just because i grew up a perfectionist and that is what i know, does not mean that is how i need to respond in this moment. i choose to silently and as calmly as i can release all thought. to not let the thought create an emotion inside me that i do not want to experience. i can choose the thoughts which control my emotions. 

i can let go. i can open up to my life. i can change in this moment. i no longer need to be restrained with guilt for not being right. 

it's okay for me to be me. it's okay for me to make mistakes.

i reach deep within my heart for guidance - deeper than i have ever gone before. emotions surface, quickly my heart starts racing, beating faster and faster, fearful to let go. afraid of the backlash that i assume will rear it's ugly head, i wallow in my fears. 

i push back, and my spirit answers...

yes, you were a perfectionist but this choice for perfection does not need to stay with you. it does not need to be you.

if you continue to demand perfection from others, you will continue to demand perfection from yourself, and you will be miserable the rest of your life. 

your loneliness will grow and spread giving you more of what you don't want.

instead of going down this path any longer, choose to accept what is that is here for you now in this moment. learn from your mistakes, learn from the blessings that unfold as you allow yourself to be. be not afraid. there are no rules or laws that state you must keep all of your childhood beliefs. 

now do not begin to hate yourself for feeling this way. do not criticize yourself for living with this emotion pain for so long. simply say thank you to your soul for helping you understand who you are. embrace the beauty that is within you and let all those other feelings melt away.

i know this is hard for you. and more emotions will surface as you begin this process. this is normal and to be expected.

coming back to, but i'm afraid of what others will think. I'm scared of what will happen if things are not perfect. it is this unknown that lurks deep behind the walls i've built so high.

soothing guidance is sent back to me, answering me. trust the process and adopt this new thought pattern, the past has no power over me because i am willing to learn and to change. i see the past as necessary to bring me to where i am today. i am willing to release my resistance to change. i accept who i am. i love and approve of myself. and i choose to have fun doing this. all is well.

what freedom i feel when i say these words. i repeat them over and over. and calmness lightens my being.

wow, i am filled with joy and love. thank you

now, i'd love to hear from you, does your past have any power over you? or if you've overcome your limiting beliefs, what worked for you?

remember, thousands of amazing souls come here for inspiration, strategies, and insight, and your words may be exactly what someone else needs to hear right now to inspire them to overcome their fears.  

thank you, as always for reading and sharing your experience and insights with all of us. you are in an inspiration in my life.

i am love 

Derek Rusell

P.S. if you know anyone who is struggling with their own limiting beliefs, please share my story. hearing my story could really, really help them.