abundance

my decision to choose abundance

3.5 years ago, i was ready

i was fighting bouts of depression. i felt lost. & i was scared.

i didn't want to admit anything was wrong with me. i'd try to remain cool, but deep down i knew my body was giving off an energy that said...i was sad.

it's always been hard for me to admit. i like to be happy. that's just who i am. 

but the more i pushed, the more life pushed back. and the faller away from myself i felt.

but i'm learning. i'm recognizing the opportunity i have to grow

and i'm trying hard to come clean with myself about my fears that have so dominated my life. 

fears that have been built up inside me for years. fears that i want to release because they no longer serve me

fears of rejection, embarrassment, + failure.

i was lonely.

and it felt like i was living a lie. i was working 70-80 hour weeks in construction with little or no time for myself. no time to relax. no time to play. and no time to create.

i didn't have a personal life. my job turned into my life. how horrible?

i was always the one that would rather go on an adventure, have more play in my life than work more hours for the same pay.

and so i'd criticize myself? i'd get mad at my life. and it would affect my relationships. especially my relationship with myself.

there was always an inner battle going on inside my head. i couldn't escape it! it terrorized me.

i was insecure. and these thoughts quickly consumed me. 

and when i finally stepped back after talking with my mom on a walk one afternoon, i understood what i was unconsciously doing to myself wasn't healthy. 

in fact it left me feeling depleted, lost, and hopeless.

i saw myself faced with a decision. 

i could either continue living like i was or rediscover myself.

clearly i wanted out but to do that i needed to accept my life.

i needed to appreciate myself. i needed to feel grateful for all the lessons my life was teaching me. i needed to go within for guidance.

and by making this conscious decision with myself i turned onto the road of abundance.

i accepted any mistakes i made. i realized i don't need to be perfect. besides it's way too much work and hassle.

and when i let go of the need to be perfect, i freed my soul!

i felt alive for the first time in years! 

 
enjoying my day in the mountains of vermont with my family

enjoying my day in the mountains of vermont with my family

 

it was incredible to feel this way. the joy, the passion, the love of life. everything seemed so beautiful. everything around me smiled back. my life filled with happiness.

i felt like me!

and that's when i started to create again. 

i felt connected.

the inspiration poured out of me. ideas flowed. opportunities started falling into my lap.

i love being me!

in the comments below I want to know-

have you ever had a fear of failure and overcome it? what exactly did you do?

what subconscious beliefs do you think may be getting in the way of your success and how can this process help you right now?

as always, thank you for reading and contributing. i’m looking forward to hearing what you have to say on this topic as it’s a really important one!

love

 

never grow up

remember when you were a kid and how innocent you were? how fun everything was?

i was thinking about this on my 55 mile commute to my "day job" this morning (I know I sound like my parents telling me how when they were in school they had to walk to school uphill both ways in the snow barefoot). have you heard a similar tune?

i say "day job" loosely because I'm only doing it for the security it provides for me and my family. there are bills to pay & mouths to feed. but as I listen to myself defend why I'm driving to a job that doesn't ignite my passion, I realize something SO important.

these thoughts are not mine -

but why do i constantly think about them? why am i dragging myself to work everyday? for what reason? if i'm thinking about them doesn't that mean they are mine?

after much struggle and confusion, my mind going cray cray, i offer this hypothesis to my own inner question. when we grow up, we learn to believe certain things to be true. we hear things, we see things and we evaluate based on our experiences. we then make educated decisions based on those experiences.

but what if those beliefs are just thoughts that we have been conditioned to believe. what if we could change those thoughts immediately?

so i tell myself - i'm gonna challenge it.

i'm not going to listen to what others tell me to do if it doesn't feel good to me

to me, life is an opportunity.

& possibilities are everywhere.

and everything that happens, happens for a reason.

my journey, my path, my life is shaped by my experiences, not by what you say to me or tell me

so yes, there is probably some lesson behind all this that i need to learn before i can move forward

so i think some more, i have plenty of time in the car to do that, and i remember when i was a kid. heck i'm still a kid

i remember a time when all I ever thought about was play.

i never worried.

i remember how the sun feels when her rays kiss my face

Photo courtesy of  Ayla

Photo courtesy of Ayla

and I think it's time to get back to that place. that place where i didn't worry. i didn't stress out.

i just enjoyed being -

being in every moment,

being present.

i need to get back to my roots.

i need to do what makes ME feel good and not worry what others have to say.

i need to laugh more.

i need to forget feeling the need to "grow up".

i need to be strong

i need to recognize that i am not here to just live day to day in the same job, doing the same thing for my entire life. i'm sorry but that's just plain boring!

so i ask myself this, what do i desire?

i love exploring nature. i love creating. i love sharing my expressions with you. i love connecting with the ones i love. i love seeing you smile. i love seeing you laugh. i love snow - wait what? sorry it's the first day of snow here and yay it brings back so many joyful memories.

i snapped this quick photo from my office overlooking the meadow beyond the trees.

i snapped this quick photo from my office overlooking the meadow beyond the trees.

now here's my first chance to take back control, to feel like me again

thanks for listening

Worry No More, the Secret is Here

By Celebrity & Corporate Artist Derek Russell

Welcome to "Sunday's Shared Secret" #2

Spring is just around the corner and it's time for some change. Change in the way we look at things. Change in our behaviors. Change in the way we live our lives.

k43.jpg

Everyday,

thousands of thoughts run through our minds.

Everyday,

we are constantly thinking,

constantly analyzing,

constantly wanting more.

And in this fast-paced world

where information is at our fingertips -

We spend countless hours worrying...

Worrying

about work & about deadlines,

and about following the rules

and pleasing others.

We worry about making money (& saving money & spending money)

and about fitting in and how others judge us.

We worry about finding our soulmate.

We worry about our looks - are we skinny enough, muscular enough, or have clear skin.

We worry when we turn on the news or listen to the radio -

As it's hard not to be consumed by the onslaught of negativity being broadcasted.

We worry about staying healthy.

We worry about the unknown -

And the scary thoughts of what tomorrow will bring.

But we can change all that -

Are you ready to take back control of your life?

I know this can be extremely hard to do.

Trust me -

I've been there,

And I sometimes find myself back there

When I feel lonesome

Defeated

Useless.

But there are ways to fight back

And WIN!

And continue to WIN in the game of life.

Now,

It's time to release these limiting beliefs

And breathe in the beauty that surrounds us.

For in the simple exercise of concentrated breathing

We can change worlds,

We can find peace of mind,

We can discover our true selves.

And as we continue to educate ourselves

We will begin to take risks

And find comfort in uncertainty.

For when we take time everyday to appreciate life & all her majesty

Photo of Wailua Falls, Kauai

Photo of Wailua Falls, Kauai

We truly feel alive.

Because

Life is about

Rejoicing and celebrating with family.

It's about enjoying the great outdoors

And the sweet aroma of Spring.

It's about taking time for yourself

And experiencing firsthand the power of being present.

Take 5 minutes everyday

To let this power infuse your body

with love,

with light,

and with laughter.

And so we have it - today's advice

: Slow down & roll with the punches - you will be amazed at how being present in your everyday life makes you so incredibly happy :)


Join me on my blog every month as I share with you what has worked so wonderfully and magically for me.

My tips and tricks will range:

From inspirational messages to witty humor getting you to think creatively,

From simple step by step ideas to unique opportunities that are available to all of us.

And in the end

It really comes down to

Helping us all live better, more fulfilling lives.

I hope to see you next month.

Cheers

Derek

 

Learn more about me


About Derek Russell

Russell, born 1985, lives and works in the mountains of New Hampshire. His areas of interest include painting, health and wellness, higher consciousness, architecture, growth mindset, engineering, travel, sports, and adventure. And he is happily married to his wife, Kara.

His love for adventure started in college when he began traveling and exploring the beauty of the world and its amazing people, places and experiences. This is the energy he captures in each of his pieces.

The foundation for his art is grounded in a decade long interaction with the art of realism. Researching and learning the techniques of the old masters, he felt a calling to express himself with paint. For over 10 years, he continued to draw and paint in a very slow and precise way. An internal struggle to make his work perfect fought with his desire to paint. And he stopped for years.

After an intensive yearlong study under a Copley Art Master, his awareness changed. By engaging in a visual story with the live models he painted, he needed to paint faster.

And then one day, it clicked for him.

He put aside his analytical mind and let the colors speak to him. He coined the term “Free Spirited Realism” as a brand for his art. It is a dance between contemporary art and realism.

When viewing his work at a close range, areas are broken up and fit together only at a distance. As you advance toward his painting, it becomes more abstract, more fluid, and as you move away, it falls into focus and is realistic. At no two distances will the painting appear the same.

He has developed a dynamic way of combining abstraction with realism. In this technique, he is able to make the action within the painting as intense and exciting as it actually is in your direct experience.

He creates meaningful, engaging stories with a shower of bold, vibrant color that inspire people to open their minds and make a positive impact on the world.

Today, his art is collected in several countries around the world.

www.DerekRussellArtist.com