change

the ripple effect of thought

energy is vibrational. it has a magical way of giving us information when we align to that energy field. too many times in my past, i'd ignore those signs. i'd only have my own worries at hand that i wanted to work on. i had my own mission. i was close minded. i was greedy. i was not seeing my fullest potential. 

i didn't feel the need to help others. but i've shifted.

and life gave me an opportunity to begin.

 
my wife and i on a hike. this is a way for me to realize new opportunities

my wife and i on a hike. this is a way for me to realize new opportunities

 

becoming aware of my senses, especially the ones that allow me to feel energy, i noticed something was upsetting. it wasn't upsetting me, yet it was still present. it was there in the room with me. 

that was my first speed bump.

the thoughts i think about become my reality. and far to often i would get confused about my thoughts and the feelings i'd sense. when i'd sense unsettling feelings, i'd change my thoughts to meet this new feeling. and all of a sudden, i'm now living someone else's reality, not my own.

so i question this belief. i question it because it doesn't make sense to me why i need to change who i am for someone else.

if someone else has a thought it is clear to me that that thought will become true for them. if our thoughts are different which they will be, our life experiences will be different. it is liberating for me to know i have the power to change my thoughts which affect my reality. and i do not need to change how i feel because of how someone else feels. they are allowed to live a different life.

but that vibration is still there. i could feel the energy. it was quiet. it was slow. it was tired.

i'm here to help. i'm here to heal. and i have the gifts that i can share that will help.

forgetting what i've always done in the past, which hasn't worked, i tried a new approach. i applied proven principles to counter that energy.

i asked, is everything okay? not getting to the root, i changed the question. are you tired?

yes she softly answers. 

is there something you want to talk about? silence. change the question my mind offered again.

and the energy shifted.

what is it that causes human emotion to behave in certain ways. if you had the choice to be tired, sad, happy, excited, energized, jazzed, what would you choose? 

now if you find yourself wanting to feel sad. accept that feeling. feel that emotion of sadness. sadness is an experience that is giving you a time to go within. why are you experiencing that sadness? it may be your ego answering back but truly embrace that feeling. 

this sadness is not who you are. it may be the experience you are feeling in this moment. it may be the only thing on your mind, but it doesn't need to control you.

maybe you feel tired. if you are tired, go to bed. get some sleep. rest. your body is talking to you.

if you want something different out of your body, decide to take on that different belief.

i lived a long time always coming home from work feeling tired. i had a long day. i had a long drive. all i felt was tired. it became my routine. it became the pattern i adopted for myself. it made me miserable. i fell deeper into a quote unquote coma. i operated each day but wasn't ever present. i simply went through the motions. silently wasting my day, i dreaded having to do it again and again and again. 

something needs to change. something needs to happen. this is not the life i envision for myself. i'm changing this behavior.

one night, it's 7pm, i'm alone, i've been awake since 4am, i decide enough is enough.

i'm sick of complaining about being tired. i'm sick of living this way. i want to learn. i want to read. i want to grow. 

but how can i do that when i'm tired, it's not possible, my mind interjects.

quite the contrary. 

anything is possible when you see life as an opportunity. and this opportunity presented herself to me powerfully as a lesson. 

i am willing to change.

i get up. i move. i alter my state of being.

emotion is created by motion i remember tony robbins telling me.

i made a cup of green tea - the caffeine will physically wake me up. this is what i'm called to do today.

i make that cup of tea. i wake up. i read. and i feel energized. i no longer want to just lazily go to bed. i no longer want to just come home from work and sit around. that's just not me. i've got bigger plans.

day after day, i continue to take charge. that feeling has passed. my mind has taken on a new pattern. and i'm energized to serve.

take your life to the next level by accepting who you are today. forgive yourself of any past experience. forgive yourself for any blame and guilt that you have allowed into your being. 

forgiveness is the key to awareness and awareness is your magic wand.

you have an immense power within you to be great.

when you throw a rock into a pond, a ripple effects occurs.

life answers the very same way.

so choose to continually throw rockets of desire into your mind, break your pattern of thought that is limiting you, and let that vibrational energy respond. it will thunder on. 

each day is an opportunity to begin again. how will you choose to begin?

on breaking free from the shackles

what is it inside me that causes me to force my life? why do i feel i must have something a certain way in order to feel happy? why do i feel the need to always be right?

it's a constant nagging feeling when it comes to me. and i don't like it.

growing up a perfectionist, i thought being right was the only way. i thought being right would give me the life i want. i thought being right would give me the approval from others i so craved.

i thought, i thought, i thought.

and my thoughts that i continued to think over and over again became true for me. i was living a certain way based on the thoughts i knew.

for the longest time, i've been yearning for change. i've been wanting something different. so i did what i do best - i forced myself to run with blinders on. it was my way or no way.

but as i heal, i notice the questions i have been asking have been giving me the answers. i've been asking for guidance and ignoring the signals.

life has been answering ever since i started asking, i just haven't been paying attention. instead because i don't have what i want right now, i get mad. i get frustrated. i get filled with anger. it got to the point where i didn't care anymore. i did not feel. and i crumbled. my body started to fall apart. injury after injury plagued me. i'm still experiencing this pain in my left elbow and knee but am finally saying thank you, thank you for waking me up. thank you for sending me this awareness to grow.

i'm noticing more and more as i begin to heal.

and wouldn't you know, situations begin presenting themselves to me immediately. instantly engaged in conflict, my mind prepares to fight. the gloves are already on the floor. my mind racing, my intensity level rising.

i want to be right. why is it that the other person just doesn't get it? but my soul quietly guides me. i have a choice to make.

yes i could fight back and win. i could easily prove someone else wrong. but ultimately what am i looking for. what do i want in life?

would i rather be right and miserable the rest of my life or happy?

yes, i can succeed when i fight back but why work harder at doing something that doesn't come naturally to me. why push the emotions that nag at me aside?  why continue to get mad at myself? why let someone else's behavior, words, and actions control me? is that really the true sign of success? or is it just a false belief that because someone else is wrong that it automatically makes me right? and because it makes me right, does that make me successful?

no, that logic is all wrong.

let go, my soul communicates. free yourself from the shackles that have held you down for so long. go within and feel the point of power you have in being in each of your present moments. realize you hold the key to unlocking these shackles.

too often you fight and alienate yourself from others. you get into a frenzy that is not you. you feel someone else is to blame. you feel someone else has caused you to feel this way. you feel it must be them that you need to please before you can be free.

that couldn't be farther from the truth. when you experience the joy that is deep within you, when you let go, when you sit quietly, you will know you are the gate keeper of your freedom, of your laughter, of all your successes. 

but you must be willing and open to change. you must want to change. 

and when you are ready, opportunities come. they surround you. they dance with you. they laugh with you.

life gives you more of what you give life. when you offer unconditional love, love answers no matter what. so smile, laugh and giggle at the simplicity of that statement and explore your creativity as you are guided to do.

i wonder where my soul comes up with this stuff, but let go of that need to understand.

the choice is simple for me now, i choose happiness.

i am willing to change

waking up, it's 4am, and I'm super excited. weird, i know.

no not weird derek, just knew to you, my soul echoes through me. you are finally excited to be alive. it's been a long time since you have felt this way. you've been putting off experiencing your happiness for some future time when everything is going according to your plan. but you have made a huge step. you have shifted. you are excited about the day ahead. it's good to be excited. there are so many possibilities for you today especially when you come from a place of acceptance.

thank you, i silently offer back to my soul.

i've been asking for guidance more. guidance from within me. i've been asking for energy because i want to expand, i want to learn, i want to grow. and when i always feel tired, i am not giving myself the chance to change. but i'm open to hearing what my soul wants to share with me now. my soul is communicating directly with me.

and share with me she did. she gave me the power to start my mirror work - i just started the other day. i've known about this technique for years, but i've always laughed at the craziness of this approach. i told myself that's too easy it can't really work for me. probably because i was afraid of change. i was afraid that it would work. i was not ready for the transformation.

yet, something in me led me to the mirror the other night, and i looked deep into my big, blue eyes. i smiled for the first time in over a year when i looked at myself. bliss.

i said i love you, i am willing to change, i am willing to release all resistance. over and over and over i repeated these lines. each time with more and more excitement. my smile grew and grew until i couldn't stop smiling. by the end of my mirror work quote unquote session, i was beaming from ear to ear. i am ready to heal i told myself. thank you i offered to my soul.

i am willing to change.

i am willing to release all resistance now.

these are the affirmations i've been saying to myself for the past couple of days. not only saying to myself in my head but out loud in front of a mirror. when i look deeply into my eyes, i stare into a being, a soul that is so much more than my physical body.

for over a year, i've been abusing my body with hateful words and toxic substances. substances that are foreign to my body - a body that is meant to house love. i've wanted out of my physical body. i couldn't smile. i couldn't bear to see myself. i was hateful to my body.

i expressed hatred. i expressed anger. i expressed jealously.

i did this because i asked for it. everything was going so good for me. everything in my life was magically unfolding. yet i was still looking for the approval of others. i was anxiously awaiting their approval. yet their approval never came. and i caved. i shut down.

for a year, i've been saying bad things. i've experienced so much stored anger and frustration inside me. i needed to get it out of me. so i took it out on my body. i took it out on my mind. i took it out on my soul. hatred enveloped my being. 

i hit rock bottom. i'm afraid to explain all the details.

my soul comforts me, that will come when you accept who you are. each experience you have is part of your beautiful journey that you signed up for when you came into this physical body.

you are a genius. you came from a place of non-being where all was perfect. you were unconditional. you were love. somewhere along the way - as you got older, you slowly forgot the essence of who you are.

you are about to experience a powerful reawakening as you engage in the joyful creation of your life.

the thoughts you think in this moment become true for you. and you only you hold the power of your thoughts. no words, actions, or emotions from others can penetrate your bubble. stand with a force field of white light. vision it surrounding you. 

and suddenly, i felt that shift happen to me.

i belly laughed so hard last night, to a place where no sounds came out. i released all the hatred, jealously, frustration and fear. i freed the child within me!

my spirit is one of pure love. i have nothing but love for myself. approval of myself. acceptance of myself. to know that i have this unconditional love always within me, i smile. i am safe. all is well.

i am willing to change.

derek russell signature