reconnect

on reconnecting to my soul

i had a calling to wake up today. it's saturday, i can sleep in. the alarm doesn't need to sound. but my body wakes up at 5am.

maybe it's because I asked myself before i closed my eyes last night to awaken me in the morning when my soul was ready to speak.

this is a completely new strategy for me. and sweet, it seemed to work.

i'm wanting more of my soul connection. i'm wanting to experience that divine connection to my all powerful source of being in every moment. i don't need to listen to my ego any longer.

my body turns over, my eyes not wanting to open just quite yet. i'm awake but why aren't i still asleep? and then i remembered. a sensation tells me to stop laying down, to stop looking over at the time wishing for it to be later. why does it need to be any later than it is right now? why can i not get up? my mind begins to analyze, critique, judge. 

i recognize i'm the only one telling myself whether or not to get up. 

so i stretch long, extend my arms and legs, pointing my toes - yes pointing my toes, love it! - and roll to the right swinging myself out of bed and onto the floor in one swift motion. that's how i remember it. i stand up. i look up. i want to hear what my soul has to say.

i meditate or rather i attempt to calm my mind from constant wandering and thinking. and for the most part, i'm successful.

it's weird how i am judging myself on how i meditate. it's my choice to meditate. it's something i'm learning to do. and it can be what i want. i don't need to judge myself on how i am failing to meditate while i attempt to meditate. my ego is screaming for attention. this is no game, there are no competitors, you are free to just be. 

i let my mind wander.

when i notice it drifting off again into another world of thought, i silently and graciously return my attention to my breathing. i focus on my nose. the freshness of life that enters and flows throughout my entire body. love fills me up.

 
derek russell meditate
 

immediately, calmness takes over.

and my message comes to me, i am moving beyond my ego in my day to day world. i'm letting my heart guide me.

i've only ever really been able to experience this freedom when i create art.

painting is my expression that brings me immediately to this place. this place where all fear inside me subsides, the chatter in my head disappears, and my soul communicates to me.

my soul talks to me, sending me messages.

i even get messages from spiritual beings outside of my own soul.

i let them come to me. i let them guide my paint brush. i let them choose the colors.

this message resonates within me, and i am brought back to my place in this amazing world we live in.

i love who i am. i'm growing. i'm learning. i'm accepting.

and i'd love to hear what you feel. have you ever tried asking for divine guidance to give you what you need?

your words are music to my eyes and inspiration for thousands of souls from around the world. may you be filled with joyous energy as you share your experiences with us. 

sending a soulful hug,

derek russell