exercise it out

the temperature boils. the mind is hot. ticking. a ticking clock. the sirens ready to sound. the world around me is caving in on top of me. what is happening to me? why is this happening to me now? did i ask for this? 

i need to find my center.

where am i to go?

i hear voices. louder and louder. there are more of them. their echoes drain my focus. i can feel them scratching at me. clawing their way in. 

get out now. go. go exercise.  

separated, i begin to breathe. i drop to the floor and let the energy pour out of me. the more i push my body up and down, the more prana builds within me.

yes keep moving. move. the body loves to move. the pump fills my arms, my chest. yes, yes, thank you.

the voices have left. i can feel my body rebuilding. all is well.

there is a time for quiet

i feel alone. i like the quiet around me.

i enjoy that moment. a peace comes to me. outside voices interrupt my train. stop asking me questions. you've called me out. you've asked for me to quit helping. is that a call for help? are you craving more attention? 

i've been putting your train back on the tracks for years and to hear it come screeching to a halt. have you derailed. is that what you want? are you looking to get off? do you want something different?

i do not understand.

it's not my game. it's not my story. 

i like the silence. so i retreat to it for a moment longer. i crave connection. 

i don't want to look at you. i won't do it. i have that choice.

why the sudden reverse? why does someone else's comments about putting on the brakes stop you. your train can continue. your train is destined for greatness. 

be okay with going at different speeds. not all can keep up. 

accept it as it is and be gentle. be kind. 

and breathe. breathe in the beauty that has just reawakened in you.

offer yourself this gift this holiday season

i am in awe at the wonderful magnificence that awakens me each day. ok i need to come clean. i admit, i do have an alarm clark but that's not quite the magnificence i'm referring too. I'm talking about my soul's ability to awaken before the alarm clock each and every day, and at around the same time each day. my inner clock - no i am being told it isn't even a clock. maybe it is the soul or a spirit guide looking to offer me something that cannot be heard during the hustle of the day. 

there is a time for communication and there is a time for quiet meditation.

i am just like you.  

the thoughts still like to play with me. they enjoy coming in, dancing around, causing a rise out of me and then move on. i like that dance. i am the lead. and when i meditate i choose to allow thoughts and feelings to come and go without any attachment to them. i give no attachment to these thoughts and they fade away on their own. 

i close my eyes and look up into my minds eye. my third eye. i see the writing on a black board. or is it blue? is it the sky? letters coming across from right to left. sliding almost, 

blurry fields

as i try to focus in on the words, the fog envelopes me. 

let the magic of life dance for you. let the miracle of life become a daily appreciation. 

each day is a miracle. it is whether you choose to see it as such. i'm at a point in my life where i say why not? why continue to choose to see problems when i can choose possibilities.  

when i go to that place of possibility, anything is possible. anything can be turned to gold. anything i focus my attention on has the power to show up in my life today. i feel this - i know this (beautiful). it is a fact for me. there is no attachment to the outcome. there is no one else confirming this to me. there is me. my soul. and i know. i have that burning desire that heats up. it melts away the bonds to fear and lack mentality. 

i am forever expansive. i am free.

i am true. i express the truth. and that truth is beauty.

oh it feels so good communing with you. i hope you don't think I'm crazy?

its okay, I'm not caught up in that game of comparison. besides its nice to have this chance to talk with you.

i am love.

you are love. spread your wings and fly. soar above the trees. open your wings. 

the peace. the fulfillment. the joy.

so simple, yet so very empowering.

in this time when everyone around me is go go go and rush rush rush, i choose to go inward. i choose to look for a place where i can offer myself a gift. and that gift is silence.

it is the new medicine of the world. you'll hear about it soon.

within you is the capacity for healing. take time for yourself this holiday season.

discovering what i need

what do i need? what do i need? i've been wrestling internally with this and its starting to show on the outside. but i'm learning more and more about myself each and every day. 


because i was lost. i lost track of who i am. and i forgot why i am here. 

with the rapid growth of technology these days we easily can compare our lives to others with a few clicks of a mouse. remember when a mouse was a mouse. you know a fury little critter hiding in your walls? 

instantly we can see our best friend from college traveling around the world, another heading up a tech start up company in the bay area, another celebrating their son's 5th birthday, and on and on. we even see people we don't know and start comparing our life to theirs. how are they able to be so...successful, happy, loved? and where am i? what have i done?

while i think social media is great, i constantly find myself comparing what i have done to others. and this is not me. i am not one to compare. 

but i question myself more. what is it that makes me ME? and is it okay to be me? why am i this way? is something wrong with me? maybe this is all a part of life, i'm certain it is. i just wanna know the lesson meow - my heart pours out

i've always been one to push through events even if i need to force myself to do things. even if it feels against the waves. maybe this is my strong will or determination. but why did i always feel pain afterwards. is this what my life has in store for me i always thought, more pain?

and so I'm thankful for being introduced to the power available to all of us. the higher vibrational energy that we can access anytime, anywhere. the divine.

through years of practice. through years of confusion. i'm starting to see the true picture. no, i don't need to choose pain. because i choose pleasure.

choosing pleasure over pain is a choice. a choice that sounds so simple, but is so very hard to do.

i've started meditating more. i've started saying more affirmations.

i say yes to life. i say yes to love. i say yes to financial freedom. i say yes to joy.

That's me celebrating under a 1600' waterfall in Kauai. Life is Beautiful

That's me celebrating under a 1600' waterfall in Kauai. Life is Beautiful


it's when i listen to my needs and care for myself that i discover what i need. and when i give myself the self-love i deserve, my worlds truly opens up for me

i’d love to hear from you. choose one question, or several, to respond to in the comments below.

  1. what’s the most important, concrete step you’ve already taken in your life to discover what you need?
  2. what’s one thing you know you should do to take better care of yourself, but you’re not doing yet? 
  3. what’s your single biggest fear? 

Let’s turn your knowledge into action right now.

as you may know, gifted souls come here each week for inspiration and guidance so please leave as much detail as you can. your share may be exactly what someone else needs to hear to have the breakthrough they’ve been looking for!

and if you found value in this post, please pass it along to your friends and family. include your own discovery of what you need on your own blog and be sure to link back to my post, where you found the inspiration to discover yourself.

thank you as always for reading, commenting and sharing. you make me smile with happiness

sending my love

derek russell soulful sunday