spiritual

on saying goodbye to my perfectionism

i imagine what it feels like to live in complete abundance, joy and love all day every day.

free from pain and suffering. free from the chains holding me back. free from the beliefs i have held onto for so many years. 

today, i meditate again - before the sun shines her bright light upon me. 

 
the beauty of life inspires me and my paintings reflect this magnificence

the beauty of life inspires me and my paintings reflect this magnificence

 

thoughts swarm in. coming from all directions. thoughts about work. thoughts about people. thoughts about email. thoughts about stress. 

i become aware of the frustration brewing inside me as these thoughts come and take over my quiet time. but i remember to be easy on myself. i asked for a lesson. i asked for guidance. and my teachers have answered.

just because i grew up a perfectionist and that is what i know, does not mean that is how i need to respond in this moment. i choose to silently and as calmly as i can release all thought. to not let the thought create an emotion inside me that i do not want to experience. i can choose the thoughts which control my emotions. 

i can let go. i can open up to my life. i can change in this moment. i no longer need to be restrained with guilt for not being right. 

it's okay for me to be me. it's okay for me to make mistakes.

i reach deep within my heart for guidance - deeper than i have ever gone before. emotions surface, quickly my heart starts racing, beating faster and faster, fearful to let go. afraid of the backlash that i assume will rear it's ugly head, i wallow in my fears. 

i push back, and my spirit answers...

yes, you were a perfectionist but this choice for perfection does not need to stay with you. it does not need to be you.

if you continue to demand perfection from others, you will continue to demand perfection from yourself, and you will be miserable the rest of your life. 

your loneliness will grow and spread giving you more of what you don't want.

instead of going down this path any longer, choose to accept what is that is here for you now in this moment. learn from your mistakes, learn from the blessings that unfold as you allow yourself to be. be not afraid. there are no rules or laws that state you must keep all of your childhood beliefs. 

now do not begin to hate yourself for feeling this way. do not criticize yourself for living with this emotion pain for so long. simply say thank you to your soul for helping you understand who you are. embrace the beauty that is within you and let all those other feelings melt away.

i know this is hard for you. and more emotions will surface as you begin this process. this is normal and to be expected.

coming back to, but i'm afraid of what others will think. I'm scared of what will happen if things are not perfect. it is this unknown that lurks deep behind the walls i've built so high.

soothing guidance is sent back to me, answering me. trust the process and adopt this new thought pattern, the past has no power over me because i am willing to learn and to change. i see the past as necessary to bring me to where i am today. i am willing to release my resistance to change. i accept who i am. i love and approve of myself. and i choose to have fun doing this. all is well.

what freedom i feel when i say these words. i repeat them over and over. and calmness lightens my being.

wow, i am filled with joy and love. thank you

now, i'd love to hear from you, does your past have any power over you? or if you've overcome your limiting beliefs, what worked for you?

remember, thousands of amazing souls come here for inspiration, strategies, and insight, and your words may be exactly what someone else needs to hear right now to inspire them to overcome their fears.  

thank you, as always for reading and sharing your experience and insights with all of us. you are in an inspiration in my life.

i am love 

Derek Rusell
 

P.S. if you know anyone who is struggling with their own limiting beliefs, please share my story. hearing my story could really, really help them. 

on reconnecting to my soul

i had a calling to wake up today. it's saturday, i can sleep in. the alarm doesn't need to sound. but my body wakes up at 5am.

maybe it's because I asked myself before i closed my eyes last night to awaken me in the morning when my soul was ready to speak.

this is a completely new strategy for me. and sweet, it seemed to work.

i'm wanting more of my soul connection. i'm wanting to experience that divine connection to my all powerful source of being in every moment. i don't need to listen to my ego any longer.

my body turns over, my eyes not wanting to open just quite yet. i'm awake but why aren't i still asleep? and then i remembered. a sensation tells me to stop laying down, to stop looking over at the time wishing for it to be later. why does it need to be any later than it is right now? why can i not get up? my mind begins to analyze, critique, judge. 

i recognize i'm the only one telling myself whether or not to get up. 

so i stretch long, extend my arms and legs, pointing my toes - yes pointing my toes, love it! - and roll to the right swinging myself out of bed and onto the floor in one swift motion. that's how i remember it. i stand up. i look up. i want to hear what my soul has to say.

i meditate or rather i attempt to calm my mind from constant wandering and thinking. and for the most part, i'm successful.

it's weird how i am judging myself on how i meditate. it's my choice to meditate. it's something i'm learning to do. and it can be what i want. i don't need to judge myself on how i am failing to meditate while i attempt to meditate. my ego is screaming for attention. this is no game, there are no competitors, you are free to just be. 

i let my mind wander.

when i notice it drifting off again into another world of thought, i silently and graciously return my attention to my breathing. i focus on my nose. the freshness of life that enters and flows throughout my entire body. love fills me up.

 
derek russell meditate
 

immediately, calmness takes over.

and my message comes to me, i am moving beyond my ego in my day to day world. i'm letting my heart guide me.

i've only ever really been able to experience this freedom when i create art.

painting is my expression that brings me immediately to this place. this place where all fear inside me subsides, the chatter in my head disappears, and my soul communicates to me.

my soul talks to me, sending me messages.

i even get messages from spiritual beings outside of my own soul.

i let them come to me. i let them guide my paint brush. i let them choose the colors.

this message resonates within me, and i am brought back to my place in this amazing world we live in.

i love who i am. i'm growing. i'm learning. i'm accepting.

and i'd love to hear what you feel. have you ever tried asking for divine guidance to give you what you need?

your words are music to my eyes and inspiration for thousands of souls from around the world. may you be filled with joyous energy as you share your experiences with us. 

sending a soulful hug,

derek russell