18 years ago, I decided to create the life I want. On my own terms. My way. And I knew the power was within me.
I was 12 at the time.
And I hated how I looked. I was fat, or as some referred to me as "plump". But either way, I was not happy with the way I looked. I was ashamed of myself. I dreaded having to change in the locker room before and after hockey practice. I'd turn away hoping nobody would see me with my shirt off.
I was afraid. I was scared of what the other guys would say.
I was jealous of their slender bodies and boy, they always seemed to have so much energy.
It hurt me deep down. It hurt me to know this is what I've got. And that I'm stuck with it.
Why me? I saw no escape. No way to hide my belly. I wished for a different body.
I didn't want to be associated with it. I hated it.
Until that one day when I decided it was time to change. I decided I needed to love my body. I needed to love who I was. And I knew I had the power within me to create the body I desired.
I adopted a new way of thinking - a new way to view food. I really took the time to notice what I was putting into my body and whether it would help me or hurt me. I began eating food with the intention to heal myself, to grow stronger, to grow lean muscle.
But this too wasn't easy.
Now everyone was criticizing what I was eating. Will they ever stop?
I ignored them - this was my life, not theirs.
I was committed. I had a vision. I saw myself with the body I loved.
And I completely changed my physical appearance.
I lost 28 pounds in 10.5 weeks. My energy skyrocketed and my joy revealed itself for the first time in years.
From that moment on, I knew I could create anything I desired. Anything!
Over the last 4 years, I began sharing my artwork with you.
Art allows me to express myself. It gives me an outlet of freedom where I connect to my highest source of being.
It is my expression of love. It is natural. It is not forced.
I create art to give you a chance to give your soul what it needs most.
And thousands of you answered. And you answered with such love.
So I invite you on my healing journey, one of self acceptance, self discovery, and manifestation. And this video captures this moment in my life.
I'm releasing my need to be perfect and am accepting who I am in this moment. I'm not trying to be someone I'm not. For years, I haven't wanted to share my story because I wanted to be accepted by all. And I was afraid if I didn't have everything perfect, I would not be putting my best foot forward. I would be showing you a side of me that I was ashamed of.
I know the quality of the video is poor, it's shaky - it wobbles all around. But I'm okay with that. For me, it's my way to continue to grow.
I'm leaping into the unknown depths of my soul. I'm awakening that place where I am most vulnerable, that place where I do not have all the answers. It's so new to me. It's both exciting and scary.
I'm been making excuses for years. So it's time for me to say goodbye to those old ways and to welcome in a whole new way of living.
I know my art will reflect this shift.
I offer you love and inspiration as you look within yourself to find your strength.
There's power in recognizing this strength for yourself, so jump on into the comments below and leave as much detail as you can.
Your voice may be the inspiration and guidance that someone else needs to make that huge discovery.
As always, thank you so much for sharing your story. You inspire me