what is my single purpose?

have you ever sat down and wondered what you are doing?

or are you too caught up with doing more & having more? more things, more stuff, more accumulation?

ever since i was in college, i've been hearing a calling but not really knowing what it was or how to listen completely. i mean i listened to an extent. 

i remember first sensing this calling during my first semester of college. i was not happy in the direction of learning about engineering. i didn't see engineering being anything i wanted to do in life. it didn't excite me. it didn't bring me passion.

but why did i continue?

well i had a single purpose. and that purpose at the time - which can change and is allowed to change - was to earn a degree, learn to think critically, and make money to pay off my loans so i could follow my dream of becoming an artist

fast forward through the last 9 years since i've graduated.

i've definitely created a name for myself as an artist. my work has been featured around the world and in the homes of many celebrities. 

these were all things i wrote about. it's an important lesson that i feel anyone who wants something in life needs to do. and thats if you want something to happen you need to write it down

but after 9 years i'm still working as an engineer full time during the day. thankfully i'm not doing the calculations i learned in college. in fact, I'm not really doing much of what i learned in college. i'm applying my ability to think, work in teams, and so on to do well on the job. 

but i don't fit in with this 7-4 job. 

i've had 2 major jobs since college. and throughout both of them i complained about what i was doing. i wasn't happy. sure it made me money. sure i've been able to buy things. but what's important?

but today is a new day, and i'm done using others as the source of my blame. its been easier to blame others for where i am today than to accept it as my choice. 

if i accepted it as my choice, i'd be saying i created this. and its all about seeing the glass half full. so instead of being mad and depressed any longer, i'm taking a stand. i'm taking a stand for myself. I'm doing what i want to be doing. not because someone else told me too. not because someone else said i was good at something and i should be doing this. i'm doing it because i have been listening to a calling from within me. this yearning for more. this achy feeling when i am not living my true potential. the love that comes over me when i follow my passion.

what is my passion? my passions have evolved over the years. i have many skills. i have many strengths. yet what makes me happy? such a seemingly simple question, but if i let my brain get involved in the answer, more confusion ensues. 

i've been super stressed at work. i'm managing an $11 million dollar construction project and am about to oversee another $9 million dollars in construction over 2 more renovations. i guess there's is a lot on my mind. 

and as i get wiser each day (i'm turning 32 in january), i need to step back and evaluate my life. am i happy where i am?

am i living my purpose? is this place the place i am going to spend the rest of my life? 

well the simple answer is no.

i'm not going to just follow the sheep. i have more to offer more to give. if i were to continue to follow the herd i'd end up just stepping in a pile of shit.

this is all a part of my training. i am learning the law of success. i am using my own life as an opportunity to inspire others to do the same. 

this writing is of ideas that have been within me. more will come and i will continue to write. as i continue to write and record my thoughts as they come to me, i am inducing a wave of abundance over me. i am studying the mind of myself.

i hope you'll join me on my journey.