mindset

on saying goodbye to my perfectionism

i imagine what it feels like to live in complete abundance, joy and love all day every day.

free from pain and suffering. free from the chains holding me back. free from the beliefs i have held onto for so many years. 

today, i meditate again - before the sun shines her bright light upon me. 

 
the beauty of life inspires me and my paintings reflect this magnificence

the beauty of life inspires me and my paintings reflect this magnificence

 

thoughts swarm in. coming from all directions. thoughts about work. thoughts about people. thoughts about email. thoughts about stress. 

i become aware of the frustration brewing inside me as these thoughts come and take over my quiet time. but i remember to be easy on myself. i asked for a lesson. i asked for guidance. and my teachers have answered.

just because i grew up a perfectionist and that is what i know, does not mean that is how i need to respond in this moment. i choose to silently and as calmly as i can release all thought. to not let the thought create an emotion inside me that i do not want to experience. i can choose the thoughts which control my emotions. 

i can let go. i can open up to my life. i can change in this moment. i no longer need to be restrained with guilt for not being right. 

it's okay for me to be me. it's okay for me to make mistakes.

i reach deep within my heart for guidance - deeper than i have ever gone before. emotions surface, quickly my heart starts racing, beating faster and faster, fearful to let go. afraid of the backlash that i assume will rear it's ugly head, i wallow in my fears. 

i push back, and my spirit answers...

yes, you were a perfectionist but this choice for perfection does not need to stay with you. it does not need to be you.

if you continue to demand perfection from others, you will continue to demand perfection from yourself, and you will be miserable the rest of your life. 

your loneliness will grow and spread giving you more of what you don't want.

instead of going down this path any longer, choose to accept what is that is here for you now in this moment. learn from your mistakes, learn from the blessings that unfold as you allow yourself to be. be not afraid. there are no rules or laws that state you must keep all of your childhood beliefs. 

now do not begin to hate yourself for feeling this way. do not criticize yourself for living with this emotion pain for so long. simply say thank you to your soul for helping you understand who you are. embrace the beauty that is within you and let all those other feelings melt away.

i know this is hard for you. and more emotions will surface as you begin this process. this is normal and to be expected.

coming back to, but i'm afraid of what others will think. I'm scared of what will happen if things are not perfect. it is this unknown that lurks deep behind the walls i've built so high.

soothing guidance is sent back to me, answering me. trust the process and adopt this new thought pattern, the past has no power over me because i am willing to learn and to change. i see the past as necessary to bring me to where i am today. i am willing to release my resistance to change. i accept who i am. i love and approve of myself. and i choose to have fun doing this. all is well.

what freedom i feel when i say these words. i repeat them over and over. and calmness lightens my being.

wow, i am filled with joy and love. thank you

now, i'd love to hear from you, does your past have any power over you? or if you've overcome your limiting beliefs, what worked for you?

remember, thousands of amazing souls come here for inspiration, strategies, and insight, and your words may be exactly what someone else needs to hear right now to inspire them to overcome their fears.  

thank you, as always for reading and sharing your experience and insights with all of us. you are in an inspiration in my life.

i am love 

Derek Rusell
 

P.S. if you know anyone who is struggling with their own limiting beliefs, please share my story. hearing my story could really, really help them. 

on reconnecting to my soul

i had a calling to wake up today. it's saturday, i can sleep in. the alarm doesn't need to sound. but my body wakes up at 5am.

maybe it's because I asked myself before i closed my eyes last night to awaken me in the morning when my soul was ready to speak.

this is a completely new strategy for me. and sweet, it seemed to work.

i'm wanting more of my soul connection. i'm wanting to experience that divine connection to my all powerful source of being in every moment. i don't need to listen to my ego any longer.

my body turns over, my eyes not wanting to open just quite yet. i'm awake but why aren't i still asleep? and then i remembered. a sensation tells me to stop laying down, to stop looking over at the time wishing for it to be later. why does it need to be any later than it is right now? why can i not get up? my mind begins to analyze, critique, judge. 

i recognize i'm the only one telling myself whether or not to get up. 

so i stretch long, extend my arms and legs, pointing my toes - yes pointing my toes, love it! - and roll to the right swinging myself out of bed and onto the floor in one swift motion. that's how i remember it. i stand up. i look up. i want to hear what my soul has to say.

i meditate or rather i attempt to calm my mind from constant wandering and thinking. and for the most part, i'm successful.

it's weird how i am judging myself on how i meditate. it's my choice to meditate. it's something i'm learning to do. and it can be what i want. i don't need to judge myself on how i am failing to meditate while i attempt to meditate. my ego is screaming for attention. this is no game, there are no competitors, you are free to just be. 

i let my mind wander.

when i notice it drifting off again into another world of thought, i silently and graciously return my attention to my breathing. i focus on my nose. the freshness of life that enters and flows throughout my entire body. love fills me up.

 
derek russell meditate
 

immediately, calmness takes over.

and my message comes to me, i am moving beyond my ego in my day to day world. i'm letting my heart guide me.

i've only ever really been able to experience this freedom when i create art.

painting is my expression that brings me immediately to this place. this place where all fear inside me subsides, the chatter in my head disappears, and my soul communicates to me.

my soul talks to me, sending me messages.

i even get messages from spiritual beings outside of my own soul.

i let them come to me. i let them guide my paint brush. i let them choose the colors.

this message resonates within me, and i am brought back to my place in this amazing world we live in.

i love who i am. i'm growing. i'm learning. i'm accepting.

and i'd love to hear what you feel. have you ever tried asking for divine guidance to give you what you need?

your words are music to my eyes and inspiration for thousands of souls from around the world. may you be filled with joyous energy as you share your experiences with us. 

sending a soulful hug,

derek russell
 

The Journey of an Artist

18 years ago, I decided to create the life I want. On my own terms. My way. And I knew the power was within me.

I was 12 at the time. 

And I hated how I looked. I was fat, or as some referred to me as "plump". But either way, I was not happy with the way I looked. I was ashamed of myself. I dreaded having to change in the locker room before and after hockey practice. I'd turn away hoping nobody would see me with my shirt off.

I was afraid. I was scared of what the other guys would say.

I was jealous of their slender bodies and boy, they always seemed to have so much energy.

It hurt me deep down. It hurt me to know this is what I've got. And that I'm stuck with it.

Why me? I saw no escape. No way to hide my belly. I wished for a different body.

I didn't want to be associated with it. I hated it.

Until that one day when I decided it was time to change. I decided I needed to love my body. I needed to love who I was. And I knew I had the power within me to create the body I desired. 

I adopted a new way of thinking - a new way to view food. I really took the time to notice what I was putting into my body and whether it would help me or hurt me. I began eating food with the intention to heal myself, to grow stronger, to grow lean muscle.

But this too wasn't easy.

Now everyone was criticizing what I was eating. Will they ever stop?

I ignored them - this was my life, not theirs.

I was committed. I had a vision. I saw myself with the body I loved.

And I completely changed my physical appearance.

I lost 28 pounds in 10.5 weeks. My energy skyrocketed and my joy revealed itself for the first time in years. 

From that moment on, I knew I could create anything I desired. Anything!

Over the last 4 years, I began sharing my artwork with you.

Art allows me to express myself. It gives me an outlet of freedom where I connect to my highest source of being. 

It is my expression of love. It is natural. It is not forced.

I create art to give you a chance to give your soul what it needs most. 

And thousands of you answered. And you answered with such love. 

So I invite you on my healing journey, one of self acceptance, self discovery, and manifestation. And this video captures this moment in my life. 

I'm releasing my need to be perfect and am accepting who I am in this moment. I'm not trying to be someone I'm not. For years, I haven't wanted to share my story because I wanted to be accepted by all. And I was afraid if I didn't have everything perfect, I would not be putting my best foot forward. I would be showing you a side of me that I was ashamed of.

I know the quality of the video is poor, it's shaky - it wobbles all around. But I'm okay with that. For me, it's my way to continue to grow. 

I'm leaping into the unknown depths of my soul. I'm awakening that place where I am most vulnerable, that place where I do not have all the answers. It's so new to me. It's both exciting and scary. 

I'm been making excuses for years. So it's time for me to say goodbye to those old ways and to welcome in a whole new way of living. 

I know my art will reflect this shift.

I offer you love and inspiration as you look within yourself to find your strength.

There's power in recognizing this strength for yourself, so jump on into the comments below and leave as much detail as you can.

Your voice may be the inspiration and guidance that someone else needs to make that huge discovery.

As always, thank you so much for sharing your story. You inspire me

I AM,

Derek Russell