intention

on releasing my attachment to discover my twin flame

every day i am presented with choices to make. my mind always wanting to please others, i know which direction he tries to steer me. he wants to win at all costs. he wants to be right no matter what the fallout. he needs that approval.

man this is deeply rooted inside me. 

i can feel my soul send shivers down my right arm, now my left. a chill encompasses my entire being. immediately i know what is important to me. 

love.

how can i express my love today?

love for myself, love for my twin flame, love for others, love for life.

i am a creature of habit but am breaking my ties. i no longer need to live the same way, everyday.

if something is not making me happy, i choose to get at the seed of that thought, remove it from my garden and plant a new seed.

i know i can. i have the tools the strength and the power to do so. i may need to weed my garden of my worries but when i do, my world answers me with bountiful blessings. 

a case in point.

just over a year ago, i asked the girl of my dreams to marry me. we hiked to the top of her favorite peak (alone in a blizzard) where i dropped to one knee and expressed my love, my commitment, my excitement to share the rest of my life with her. and the best part, she eventually said yes - yes eventually, that's a side story i'll share at some point.

Derek Russell proposes atop mountain to kara

the joy running through my body right meow fills me with peace. it fills me with pure happiness again. to think about that moment that happened just over a year ago, i am immediately a little boy again full of youthful expression.

but before i was with her, i was alone. i was alone for many years. i was lonely. i wanted her in my life. 

i dated many young and beautiful women. many only lasted a couple of dates. a couple were longer but eventually those relationships turned into better friendships. we knew we each had a different life we were meant to live. and so we moved on.

and it was hard. living years without anyone. by myself. i was attractive, funny, athletic, smart. where was she? and why haven't i found he yet, i agonized about it day after day.

i did something new to me. i called upon my angels to help me find her. 

my soul reminds me, when you can live and trust that what you desire is coming back to you, you will be surprised at how quickly you see what you desire appearing in your life. and it will come to you when you are ready. no earlier, no later.

i practice visualizing my life with my future wife. i see us smiling. laughing. playing. traveling the world. helping millions. i imagine the adventures we take together, the experiences we share, the love.

i grin from ear to ear this morning seeing the complete verification of this tool in my life.

as i released my inner need to have this girl in my life, the universe guided me into her arms.

when you committed to trusting yourself, when you let go of that incessant attachment, + when you really felt the emotions of being with her, you aligned yourself with your next level of awareness. you freed your mind from worry. your expression of gratitude in this moment brought you more to be grateful for.

be one with your creator.

be one with your spirit.

bringing this awareness into my mind this morning of what i created, i am at peace. i feel AMAZING! i can do whatever i intend. all i need to do i ask my angels for guidance, put the power of intention to work and trust the universe will handle all the details. 

I choose abundance for life.

looking back at college

i'm 29 now and wow, it's been over 7 years since i graduated from college!

i was talking to kara about her experiences in college, and i wanna reflect on my years.

what a journey.

from getting my heart broken freshman year - it all happens for a reason. i'm now married to my twin flame! You rock kara!!

to an unbearable amount of stress from school work - i probably did way more than i needed too

to an infatuation with life - i began to love who i was

to happiness + joy - i found peace with myself and fun times with friends.

i learned a ton during my 4 years of college and not just what i majored in. but each and every experience gave me the opportunity to gain insight and knowledge. it opened up my eyes to the abundance in the world.

i was a freshman when i picked up my first wayne dyer book, the power of intention. i remember being immediately hooked by his words. they echoed so real to me. i could sit for hours reading his stories. there was something very special in what he was sharing with me. 

it resonated within me - the energy, the power of his words. i knew what he said to be true. 

and so college was a time for me to discover myself - well more of myself i guess. i was on my own and i could do anything i wanted to.

besides the typical college stories of late nights, girls, the gym and bars,

i really connected to my higher spiritual self.

i needed too.

with all the stress and anxiety, not to mention workload, that my engineering curriculum put me through, i needed a way out. 

yes, i was a very determined student. i wanted to do well. and i was confident with my ability to excel in school. but it wasn't that it came easy to me. i had to work harder than ever. i had to spend more time studying and preparing - again i probably did way more than necessary.

i'd go through phases where i didn't want to be there! i hated it.

but my college years gave me the opportunity to learn, to develop, and to practice my skills

i'm thankful for these times as they taught me to move past the fear.

when i found and applied the teachings of tony robbins, i was able to take action immediate action in my life to make it better. 

soon, i realized i could do anything i set my mind too

anything was possible!

what i also learned that proved to help me on so many levels was to listen more to what my intuition was telling me.

instead of doing what others were doing, i'd ask my heart for guidance.

here's a funny story that happened on more than one occassion. sometimes when a group of us were preparing for a test at the library, i'd go find a comfortable armchair that i could move into a sunny spot to soak up the rays. maybe it was natures way of restoring me and giving me what i needed most. 

and then what i did next will shock you.

i'd place a book on my chest and close my eyes.

yes, while my classmates were studying, i was sleeping. i called it my way of absorbing the material. 

and i still do it today.

i didn't ask questions when i felt this urge to "absorb the material". i just trusted myself and released all the worry i had. besides i'd already studied for countless hours day after day and needed a break. i'd done all the homework and understood what my body and mind needed. and that was to feel relaxed. 

now, how in the world did i discover that trick?

in high school, i was lucky enough to have been able to study reiki and became a reiki practitioner. in the simplest sense, reiki is a form of relaxation.

and i used this gift to help me through the tough times. 

i needed a way to calm down, to relax, and to know all is well.

 
That's me on the far right with my buddies holding the banner before Commencement

That's me on the far right with my buddies holding the banner before Commencement

 

i don't even want to begin to tell you how many times i tried to get out of engineering, more than i can count - and i was good at math.

but every time i thought i had had enough and was changing majors, something didn't feel right. something felt off. 

i paid attention to this feeling and started to go with the flow, rather than fight it.

instead of being right all the time, i took the huge risk (for me anyways) of being happy. and you know what, i still made out all right, and i was able to have more fun.

i needed to accept myself - hard for me to say, even now reflecting back on it years later.

i needed to show myself the love i deserve

now, i’d love to hear from you. do you have a personal practice that helps you through the tough times? 

leave a comment below and let us know. so many incredible souls join us for insight and inspiration so thank you in advance for sharing your voice to the conversation.

with love + appreciation

derek russell soulful sunday